๐ŸงŒ
๐ŸงŒ
๐ŸงŒ
๐ŸงŒ
๐ŸงŒ
wen moon ser ๐ŸŒ•
๐ŸงŒ The World's Most Budget-Tier Blockchain Project ๐ŸงŒ
๐ŸงŒ

CHEAPDEV

$CHEAPDEV

Built by a developer hired on Fiverr for $500 $4.99.
Audited by his cousin who "knows computers."
Whitepaper written during a bathroom break.
100% Goblin-Backed. 0% Institutional.

โœˆ๏ธ JOIN TELEGRAM
CONTRACT ADDRESS
NOT YET HOOMAN ๐ŸงŒ GOBLIN STILL COOKING
$CHEAPDEV +420.69% ๐ŸงŒ PRICE: $0.000000001 โ–ฒ MARKET CAP: $47 AND A HALF โ–ฒ DEV WALLET: 99.9% โ–ผ LIQUIDITY: $12.50 ๐ŸงŒ HOLDERS: 3 (dev, dev's mom, dev's dog) WEN LAMBO: SOONโ„ข $CHEAPDEV +420.69% ๐ŸงŒ PRICE: $0.000000001 โ–ฒ MARKET CAP: $47 AND A HALF โ–ฒ DEV WALLET: 99.9% โ–ผ LIQUIDITY: $12.50 ๐ŸงŒ HOLDERS: 3 (dev, dev's mom, dev's dog) WEN LAMBO: SOONโ„ข
/// ORIGIN STORY ///

The Goblin Lore ๐Ÿ“œ

In the dark swamps of the Solana blockchain, a goblin sat hunched over a laptop held together with duct tape and broken dreams. His only tool: a $4.99 Fiverr contract and a copy-pasted SPL token template.

They said it couldn't be done. They said the code had 47 critical vulnerabilities. They said the "tokenomics" were "just a pie chart of the goblin eating everything."

They were right. But we deployed anyway.

$CHEAPDEV is not just a coin. It's a lifestyle. A philosophy. A deeply poor financial decision made communally, which somehow makes it beautiful.

  .-"""-.
 /  ,--. \
|  / /\ \ |
| | |  | ||
 \ \ \/ / /
  '------'
  |  ||  |
  |  ||  |
  '--''--'
GoblinDev #0001 Chief Executive Goblin / Lead Dev / HR Dept.
/// TECHNICAL ANALYSIS ///

Live Price Chart ๐Ÿ“ˆ
(definitely not made up)

$0.000000001 โ— LIVE
โ–ฒ +420.69% (24h)
All gains are temporary. The sideways is eternal.
VOL 24H$3.47
MKT CAP$47.50
ATH$0.000000002
ATL$0.000000001
๐Ÿ“Š Classic "Goblin Crab" formation. Analysts say: "It do be doing that."
/// TOTALLY FUNCTIONAL DEX ///

GoblinSwapโ„ข ๐Ÿ”„
Powered by prayers and $12 of liquidity

Swap โš™ Slippage: 420%
You PayBalance: 0.00 BNB
SOL ๐ŸŸฃ
โฌ‡๏ธ
You Receive (approx.)Balance: 0 $CHEAPDEV
$CHEAPDEV ๐ŸงŒ
Price: 1 SOL = 420,690,000,000 $CHEAPDEV
Price Impact: CATASTROPHIC
Min Received: honestly who knows
Network Fee: $0.04
๐ŸงŒ
Goblin processing
The goblin is slow.
ERROR
Powered by GoblinSwap v0.0.1-alpha-beta-gamma-unstable
/// NUMBERS GO BRR ///

Tokenomics ๐Ÿ“Š
(we made these up)

๐Ÿ•1 QUADRILLIONTOTAL SUPPLY"more than you'll ever need,
less than the dev will keep"
๐Ÿ”ฅ0%BUY/SELL TAX"clean trading.
lottery burns it instead."
๐ŸงŒ50%LOTTERY PRIZE POT"one goblin wins big.
everyone else burns."
๐Ÿ’€40%BURNED EACH ENTRY"dead wallet gets fat.
supply gets small."
๐Ÿ“ข4%MARKETING"funds goblin chaos.
and pizza."
๐Ÿ’Ž3% + 3%HOLDERS + LIQUIDITY"holders earn passive.
pool gets deeper."
/// THE PLANโ„ข ///

Roadmap ๐Ÿ—บ๏ธ

PHASE 1 โ€” COMPLETE โœ“
The Birth of the Goblin
  • Copy-paste SPL token contract from Stack Overflow โœ“
  • Change token name to "CHEAPDEV" โœ“
  • Deploy at 3am while eating cold pizza โœ“
  • Tell 4 friends. 2 blocked us. โœ“
PHASE 2 โ€” IN PROGRESS ๐Ÿ”จ
Going Viral (Allegedly)
  • Post in 12 crypto Telegram groups
  • Get banned from 11 of them
  • CoinGecko listing (submitted, ignored twice)
  • Hire second goblin developer (budget: $3)
PHASE 3 โ€” COMING SOONโ„ข
Moon Mission ๐ŸŒ•
  • Get listed on Raydium / Jupiter
  • Launch CheapDev NFT collection (1000 goblin JPEGs)
  • Weekly Goblin Lottery goes live on-chain
  • Partnership with Wendy's (they don't know yet)
PHASE 4 โ€” THE DREAM
LAMBO SEASON ๐ŸŽ๏ธ
  • Developer buys used Honda Civic (it's basically a lambo)
  • CheapDev metaverse (a Minecraft server)
  • Elon tweets about us (manifesting)
/// THE LEGENDS ///

Meet the Team ๐ŸงŒ

๐ŸงŒ
GobDev
Founder / Lead Dev / Marketing / CEO / Janitor
Hired himself on Fiverr for $4.99. Expert in Solidity (copy-paste). Owns 69% of supply. "For marketing."
๐ŸงŸ
Cousin Kevin
Chief Security Officer / "Auditor"
Took a Python course in 2019. Said the contract "looks fine." Has not looked at the contract. Currently playing Fortnite.
๐Ÿ•
Mr. Biscuit
Chief Happiness Officer / Advisor
Holds 420 billion $CHEAPDEV. Doesn't know what crypto is. Has never sold. Diamond paws. Our most reliable team member.
๐Ÿ‘ป
Anon
Community Manager
Joined Telegram 3 days ago. Already more active than the dev. Sends "wen moon ๐ŸŒ•" every 4 hours. We love him.
/// YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS ///

FAQ ๐Ÿค”

Is this a rugpull?โ–ผ
No. Definitely not. The dev is still here. He's sleeping right now but he's here. The liquidity is locked. We have a roadmap. Please buy.
Has this been audited?โ–ผ
Cousin Kevin looked at it for 4 minutes and said "yeah seems fine." We consider this a full professional audit. Kevin is very smart. He once fixed a printer.
How does the Goblin Lottery work?โ–ผ
You enter tokens. 50% goes to the prize pot. 40% is burned forever. 10% split to marketing, holders and liquidity. One random winner takes the whole pot weekly. Win or lose โ€” you burned supply, which is bullish for everyone.
What is the utility of $CHEAPDEV?โ–ผ
The token can be used to: (1) buy more $CHEAPDEV, (2) enter the goblin lottery, (3) feel things, (4) post screenshots in Telegram. Governance planned โ€” holders vote on what the dev has for lunch.
Wen lambo?โ–ผ
Phase 4. The dev has already picked out a very nice lambo (2009 Honda Civic with a spoiler). We are close. Please tell your friends.
/// WEEKLY GOBLIN LOTTERY ///

๐ŸŽฐ Goblin Lottery ๐ŸŽฐ
50% wins ยท 40% burns ยท goblin keeps nothing

42.07B๐Ÿ”ฅ TOTAL BURNED
13๐Ÿ† TOTAL WINNERS
420๐ŸงŒ TOTAL ENTRIES
8.42B $CHEAPDEV 17 goblins have entered this round
--DAYS
--HRS
--MINS
--SECS
Your balance: Connect wallet to see
$CHEAPDEV ๐ŸงŒ
TOKEN SPLIT BREAKDOWN:
๐Ÿ† WINNER POT
50%
โ€”
๐Ÿ”ฅ BURNED
40%
โ€”
๐Ÿ“ข MARKETING
4%
โ€”
๐Ÿ’Ž HOLDERS
3%
โ€”
๐Ÿ’ง LIQUIDITY
3%
โ€”
Your win chance: โ€”
If you win you get: โ€”
Burned if you lose: โ€”
By entering you accept that the goblin is chaotic and not liable for anything
1๏ธโƒฃ
Enter any amount of $CHEAPDEV. The more you enter, the bigger your slice of the prize pot.
2๏ธโƒฃ
50% goes to the prize pot. 40% is permanently burned. 10% split to marketing, holders and liquidity.
3๏ธโƒฃ
When the countdown hits zero, the goblin picks ONE random winner. They take the entire prize pot.
4๏ธโƒฃ
Win or lose โ€” 40% of your entry is burned forever. Every round makes $CHEAPDEV more scarce. Bullish.
GOBLIN SPLIT
โ–  50% Prize โ–  40% Burn โ–  4% Mkt โ–  3% Hold โ–  3% Liq
๐Ÿฅ‡
0xG0BL...1N42 WINNER
Won 8.42B $CHEAPDEV
2h ago
๐Ÿฅˆ
0xD3G3N...420
Won 3.69B $CHEAPDEV
1d ago
๐Ÿฅ‰
0xB1SC...U1T
Won 12.00B $CHEAPDEV
3d ago
4
0xWAGM...I69
Won 990M $CHEAPDEV
5d ago
5
0xM00N...SER
Won 4.20B $CHEAPDEV
1w ago
๐Ÿ”ฅ All-time burned: 42,069,000,000 $CHEAPDEV
๐ŸงŒ
THE GOBLIN IS DECIDING YOUR FATE
Please wait. The goblin is not fast. He is a goblin.
โš ๏ธ NOT FINANCIAL ADVICEโš ๏ธ THIS IS A JOKE (MOSTLY)โš ๏ธ DO NOT INVEST YOUR RENT MONEYโš ๏ธ THE DEV WALLET IS VERY LARGEโš ๏ธ WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHINGโš ๏ธ COUSIN KEVIN IS NOT A REAL AUDITORโš ๏ธ MR. BISCUIT IS A DOGโš ๏ธ LOTTERY IS DEMO ONLY โš ๏ธ NOT FINANCIAL ADVICEโš ๏ธ THIS IS A JOKE (MOSTLY)โš ๏ธ DO NOT INVEST YOUR RENT MONEYโš ๏ธ THE DEV WALLET IS VERY LARGEโš ๏ธ WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHINGโš ๏ธ COUSIN KEVIN IS NOT A REAL AUDITORโš ๏ธ MR. BISCUIT IS A DOGโš ๏ธ LOTTERY IS DEMO ONLY
๐ŸงŒ
๐Ÿ“„ CheapDev_Whitepaper_FINAL_v3_REAL_THIS_TIME.pdf

JOURNAL OF DECENTRALIZED GOBLINOMICS ยท VOL. 1, NO. 1 (2024)

CheapDev ($CHEAPDEV): A Peer-Reviewed Study on Going Broke Together on the Solana Chain

GoblinDev1, Kevin (Cousin)2, Mr. Biscuit3, Anonโ€ 

1Swamp Labs  2Kevin's Bedroom  3The Kitchen Floor  โ€ Unknown

AbstractWe present CheapDev ($CHEAPDEV), a BEP-20 token with zero utility, questionable security, and vibes. This paper explains why you should buy it anyway. Results: (1) token exists, (2) can theoretically be traded, (3) Mr. Biscuit has not sold. Keywords: goblin, rug pull (denied), moon (soon).
   $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
   $  PRICE OVER TIME   $
   $ ^                  $
   $ |  ._              $
   $ |    '.____________$
   $ |__________________$
   $   time -->         $
   $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Figure 1: The "Goblin Flatline." Analysts say: "technically still alive."

1. Introduction

The crypto space suffers from a shortage of coins made by people who have no idea what they are doing. We address this gap. $CHEAPDEV was conceived at 3:17am after the dev watched "Deploy Your Own Token in 10 Minutes." It took 4 hours. Two hours were spent trying to install the Solana CLI on Windows.

2. Architecture

  • Goblin Tax Engineโ„ข: 420% cumulative tax ensuring the developer always profits.
  • Anti-Whale: Whales cannot buy. No liquidity. Unintentional. Now a feature.
  • Goblin Lottery: 50% prize / 40% burn / 10% split. Weekly. Deflationary by design.
 TRANSACTION FLOW:
 User โ†’ Contract โ†’ takes 69% โ†’ Dev
              โ†’ takes 42% โ†’ Dev
              โ†’ takes 15% โ†’ Dev
              โ†’ sends 0% remaining โ†’ User
              (approximately)
Figure 2: "Goblin Math." Percentages do not need to add up to 100.

3. Tokenomics

Allocation%Note
Dev Wallet69%Marketing (allegedly)
Liquidity Pool20%$12.50 worth
Team8%Kevin, Mr. Biscuit, Anon
Community2%3 wallets
Reserve1%Pizza fund

4. Security

Cousin Kevin reviewed the contract. His methodology: opened in Notepad, scrolled to bottom, said "yeah looks fine", closed Notepad, returned to Fortnite. Zero vulnerabilities found because none were looked for.

AUDITED โœ“ (BY KEVIN)

5. Conclusion

Please buy $CHEAPDEV. The developer needs pizza money. Enter the Goblin Lottery. You will probably lose. That's deflationary. That's bullish. Thank you.

References

  1. GobDev et al. (2024). "I Just Deployed What." Personal Diary, 3am.
  2. Kevin, C. (2024). "Yeah Looks Fine." Discord DM.
  3. Mr. Biscuit (2024). [No comment, is a dog].
  4. Stack Overflow user "goblindev420" (2024). "How do I make ERC20 token." We used this one.
This paper was written in 45 minutes. The dev needed the bathroom during Section 3 but held it. Not financial advice. Barely a paper.